Do you have any New Years Resolutions or Resignations you’d like to share? Email them in to be posted, or comment to share! What changes do you wish to see for yourself? What habits do you wish to resign?

What are your goals for the year? What goals do you have for your spiritual self for the year?

We want to hear from you!

Ben's Trip to Vancouver/Paralympic Painting

Ben has entered into the Scotties Tissue Design Box Challenge. Voting is open until January 16, 2011. The voting process is easy, you just have to click here and once you have arrived at the Scotties website, you select the first design on the far left and click vote. You can vote for Ben on a daily basis.

If you are able to, donate your Facebook status to Ben. Or, post a link to the Scotties website on Facebook or Twitter and advertise for Ben. He and his mother, Anita would appreciate it.  The link is http://www.scotties.ca/english/promotions_sdc.php#.

Each vote that Ben receives will bring him closer to winning a $10,000 Room Renovation. He will also see his design produced and in stores across Canada.

We hope to see worldwide support for Ben! Ben’s design has been chosen out of 25,000 designs. His design is 1 of 10 designs chosen for the semi-final round. On February 7, 2011, the semi-finalist submissions will be reviewed by the Scotties Judging Panel based on the criteria of uniqueness, fit with the Scotties brand and voting results.

Ben's Design

Ben is a survivor whose story emphasizes achievement. He became a new and different Ben to his family.

Ben was a fun-loving 18 year old, a budding musician, athlete with a zest for life. On September 19, 2002, he was working on his car on his driveway when the car fell on top of him, crushing him under its weight. He was trapped under the car, his brain oxygen starved for 20 minutes. He was forced to begin life anew as an acquired brain injury survivor. He did not return home to his family until April 2003.

He endured a long course of intensive therapies that lasted for years.

Interestingly enough, Ben had never shown much interest, or an aptitude in art, but he was given the opportunity to continue his therapy though painting.

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.”

- Henry Ward Beecher

Art become his therapy. And it still is. Ben’s art, painting, gives him a great sense of purpose in his life.  His paintings are thoughtful, soulful, deep and he is truly talented.

Thank you Ben for sharing your gift with us. Thank you Anita for encouraging Ben’s special gift.

To read more about Ben or to view his paintings, visit www.bensloetjes.com.

“All art requires courage.”

- Anne Tucker

New research suggests that gender matters when it comes to memory and stress, weather that stress is acute, chronic or traumatic.

Acute Stress: Stress that happens once and then goes way.

Acute stress is experienced in response to an immediate perceived threat that can be either physical, emotional or psychological. The threat can be real, or imagined. This stress triggers the initial fight-or-flight response.

A moderate to strong amount of acute stress tends to be good for memory according to Prof. Larry Cahill, Ph.D, a professor of neurobiology and behaviour at the University of California at Irvine. Over the years, the University of California’s research has supported the “inverted U” response: as stress levels increase, so does memory performance up to a person’s own optimal level of stress. If  more stress is added, the memory function decreases. Prof. Cahill’s lab decided to test the memories of men and women after acute stress to determine how safe this general rule of the inverted U is.

It turns out that after acute stress, the stressful event enhanced the memories of the men, but not for the women. The levels of stress hormones were elevated equally in both genders. It was concluded that when women had high levels of estrogen, stress toyed with their recollection, but when they had high levels of progesterone, stress boosted recall (as it does for men). Women received the benefits of a memory lift from stress only when their estrogen levels were normal.

Chronic Stress: Stress that lasts at least a few weeks.

Chronic stress occurs when the body is experiencing so many concurrent stressors that our body rarely has a chance to activate the relaxation response. Chronic stress wears us down and causes us to become ill, either physically or emotionally.

New research demonstrates that men generally fail in the face of chronic stress and women fare well. Too much chronic stress prevents the brain from laying down new memories and remembering old ones; making it difficult to think clearly and remember crucial details-in men. Female brains are better able to handle chronic stress. In a 2009 study, Prof. Zhen Yan, Ph.D, a professor of physiology and neuroscience at the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that chronic stress in male rodents suppressed communication ability, impaired working memory (short-term information storage).

Apparently, this new research shows that if you chronically stress males, memory functions decrease. If you chronically stress females, they can function and memory continues to work. When put into the context of evolution, it all makes sense. What were the roles? Men were the hunters. Women were the…caregivers. Men were out hunting and put in situations of acute stress. Women adapted to chronic stress. What about today? Women are known to be expert multi-taskers. Enough said.

Traumatic Stress: A threat to one’s life or integrity, or to someone close, characterized by intense fear and helplessness.

Traumatic stress assaults the memory bank of the brain and causes it to shrink in size. We also know traumatic stress in the form of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder, which can be brought on by such psychological traumas as childhood sexual abuse, car accidents, military combat, assault causing memory deficits that are not necessarily reversible.

Traumatic stress is characterized by intense fear and helplessness. The massive brain defects that traumatic stress leaves in its wake include deficits in declarative memory, meaning remembering facts or lists, fragmentation of memories, and disassociative amnesia (gaps in memory that can last from minutes to days). The brain damage from extreme stress destroys memories in the memory bank and impairs the creation of new memories. This type of damage is not likely to be reversed.

As with acute stress and chronic stress, sex hormones likely play a role in traumatic stress but this requires further research. Notably, PTSD affects two to three times as many women as men.

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to deal with stress, but we all know that isn’t possible. As women, face many challenges.

As Divas, we are fortunate to have a loving, caring network of women who are there to support us and teach us ways to relax!

1. Are you leaving time for yourself and for down time during each day?
2. Is your job fulfilling and rewarding?
3. Are you beginning to resent email and mobile phones and being easy to contact?
4. Do you work more than 8 hours a day?
5. Do you suffer from Sunday Blues and Manic Mondays?
6. Do you do the unthinkable and take work home with you?
7. Are you physically and emotionally drained?

Well, if you answered as follows:

1. No
2. No
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. Yes
6. Yes
7. Yes

You are suffering from burnout! You need to take time for yourself.

Rest-Relax- Revive Yourself!

You need to be compassionate to yourself and give yourself care and attention. Compassion is a natural state. And it starts with yourself. Be nice to yourself.

• You don’t have to be the first person in the office in the morning, or be the last person to leave at night;
• You must learn to say NO, be assertive and proactive;
• Get some sleep!
• Do at least one nice thing a day for yourself.

Take advantage of your membership with the Spirituelle Divas Organization: Enjoy your chapter meetings, enjoy the wonderful events, learn from our speakers, from our library, from our newsletter! We’re here for you! Make connections!

We invite you to join us at…

OH-MY-GODDESS

Sunday, February 27th 2011

11am to 4pm @ Presidente Banquet Hall

1133 Creditstone Road (Jane & Highway 7)

Shop at our fabulous boutique sale!

Enjoy a heavenly lunch!

Be enlightened by our wonderful speaker: Author and Body Confidence Coach, Jennifer Ettinger

Join Damarys Aguiree and dance your way to fitness with dynamic Zumba

Dress code: Elegant Casual

Tickets $45.00 per Goddess

Enjoy the Raffle Tickets & Surprise Bags

Proceeds from our event will go towards maintaning our Divas’ Resource and Event Centre in Thornhill.

The Spirituelle Divas Organization is proud to give a portion of the funds donated towards our Women in Transition Project- Renewing Hope, Rebuilding Lives.

To purchase tickets, please visit our website at http://spirituelledivas.org.

For further information kindly contact Ricki Snider at events@spirituelledivas.org.

Interested in renting a boutique table? Have an enticing prize or gift certificate to donate? Contact Cathy Dinetz at fundraising@spirituelledivas.org.

“Last month I was invited to speak at a Conference for Women, The Arts and Spirituality in New York City.  I led a focused workshop on Pilates as prayer where we aligned both our bodies and our spirits to connect into our holistic core in a transformative, spiritual and strengthening way.   As a certified dance and STOTT Pilates instructor for almost 20 years, I was thrilled to be asked to be a part of this wonderful event.”

Barbie’s experience tells us that Sprituality is everywhere!!!!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/24h_to_save_sakineh_b/97.php?cl_tta_sign=6de9f6e97730514c7161f23f8e4cafce 

Dear Friends,

Today, Iran could execute Sakineh Ashtiani.

Our global outcry stopped her unjust stoning sentence in July. Now we have 24 hours to save her life.

Iran’s allies and key UN powers are our best hope — they could persuade Iran of the serious political cost of this high-profile killing. Click here to send them an urgent call to action and send this to everyone — it only takes three minutes and we are her last chance:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/24h_to_save_sakineh_b/97.php?cl_tta_sign=6de9f6e97730514c7161f23f8e4cafce

Sakineh’s adultery case is a tragic sham stacked with human rights violations. First, she was to be stoned to death. But the Iranian government had to revoke the sentence after her children generated a tremendous outcry against the farcical trial — she could not speak the language used in court, and the alleged incidents of adultery took place after her husband’s death.

Then her lawyer was forced into exile, and the prosecution conjured up a new trumped-up charge for which she would be executed — the murder of her husband. Despite this being double jeoprady, as she is already serving time for alleged complicity in this crime, Sakineh was tortured and paraded on national television to ‘confess’, and was found guilty. The regime has now arrested two German journalists, her lawyer and her son, who has bravely led the international campaign to save his mother. All remain in prison and Sakineh’s son and lawyer have been also tortured and have no access to lawyers.

Now Iranian human rights activists state an order has just been issued from Tehran to implement her killing immediately, she is on the list and tomorrow is execution day.

Persistent campaigning led Iran to drop Sakineh’s stoning sentence and captured the attention of leaders in countries with influence on Iran, like Turkey and Brazil. Now let’s urgently raise our voices to stop her killing and inhumane treatment and free her, her lawyer, her son and the jailed German journalists.

http://www.avaaz.org/en/24h_to_save_sakineh_b/97.php?cl_tta_sign=6de9f6e97730514c7161f23f8e4cafce

A massive public outcry has the moral authority to stop heinous crimes. Let’s use these 24 hours to send a clear message — the world is watching and we all stand together today to save Sakineh’s life and against injustice everywhere.

With hope and determination,

Alice, Stephanie, Pascal, Giulia, Benjamin and the whole of the Avaaz team

Sources:

The Islamic regime of Iran plans to execute Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani immediately
http://stopstonningnow.com/wpress/4194

Sakineh hanging imminent
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/fears-that-alleged-adulterers-execution-by-hanging-is-imminent/story-e6frg6so-1225946610965

Iranian woman could be stoned Wednesday
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hipKgm5UqJOxciOi1f07BwbfRgFg?docId=CNG.6ef6de7af5f33847d19e690e61087c73.811

Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani: A life in the Balance (Amnesty International)
http://www.amnesty.org/en/library/asset/MDE13/089/2010/en/589bd56b-49ac-4028-8dc6-abd903ac9bac/mde130892010en.pdf

 http://www.avaaz.org/- The World In Action….Is a 5.5 Million Person Global Campaign Network that works to ensure the views and values of the world’s people shape global decision making.

“Avaaz” means “voice” or “song” in many languages. Avaaz members live in every nation of the word. The Avaaz team is spread across 13 countries on 4 continents and operates in 14 languages.

Divas at the Seminar

Gluckstein & Associates LLP held the 5th Annual Toronto Compassion Fatigue Seminar at the St. Andrews Conference Club . The two wonderful and brilliant  speakers were Dr. Gabor Mate, M.D., physician, author, seminar leader and public speaker and Francoise Mathieu, certified mental health counsellor and compassion fatigue specialist.

The day was dedicated to examining the ever increasing rise of compassion fatigue and its causes.

Compassion Fatigue is One Way Compassion…

We examined why this form of burnout and exhaustion is affecting everyone from social workers, nurses, doctors, but also how it can affect parents, children, lawyers, spouses, and in essence, anyone who cares.

Why does Caring cause Fatigue?

We are depleting our own supply of care. We are spending our care on others. Care has become a one way street; a funnel and the funnel is always draining.  The reality is that compassion is a natural state and is positive when it is reciprocal.

Childhood, Implicit Memory & Core Beliefs…

One of the focal points of the seminar was how one’s early childhood can affect one’s world views.  It was mentioned that the stress of the parent can exhaust the stress mechanisms of the child. It seems logical enough that the emotional state of the parent would affect the well  being of the child, even to a profound extent. So, we begin life with this concern of emotional well-being and we are brought up to be concerned with the emotional well-being of others.

Dr. Mate discussed the concept of implicit memory at length. We have no clear memories before the age of 18 months, but we do have something called “implicit memory”. This speaks to the mind and body connection. Your subconscious “remembers” what happens to you in that period of time. You are remembering something without being aware that you are remembering it.  It is an automatic or an unconscious form of memory.  It is the story behind the story and it is used to explain core beliefs.

We seem to follow our core beliefs as guidelines for how to live our lives. But, sometimes these core beliefs are what cause us to become addicted to stress and become workaholics. Addiction by definition, comes from the word ‘Addictus’, having to do with slavery, and means any kind of behaviour that brings you temporary relief and pleasures but in the long term causes pain and problems….Sound familiar???

But we thrive on positive feedback and the world seems to reward you for your hard work! What the world values you for is very often what makes you sick!!!

Francoise Mathieu discussed how Compassion Fatigue happens to people who do a ‘good job’! The work we do skews our perception of the world; it is a natural consequence.

Our compulsive concerns with the emotional well-beings of others puts us at risk for illness…Hence the saying, “Why do the good always die young?”.

We feel compelled to have a rather rigid sense of identity, sense of duty and responsibility to our roles instead of to the self. This rigidity is a major risk factor for illness and breakdown of the immune system.

We fear the repercussions of “not being there” for someone, of disapproval, of disappointment and this can lead to depression and illness.

Francoise Mathieu offered the following protective tips:

1. Working Part Time, even 4 days a week is highly protective

2. Social Support & Enhancing Your Social Network (at work)

3. Create a Work Community (even 15 minutes a day of interaction)

Anger…

One of the most serious risk factors to our minds and bodies is anger…and the repression of healthy anger!

The Buddha stated, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate

We are angry because we take on too much. We are angry because we can’t seem to change and say no, or we can’t find the words. But, in the end, we are not doing ourselves, or any one any favours. In actuality, we are putting our whole immune system at risk by suppressing our natural killer cells that fight malignant cells. We keep recycling the anger inside of us. The emotions inside of us are turning against us, meaning our immune system is turning against us too.  Our autoimmune system begins to attack itself. Anger suppression means that our bodies won’t recognize or fight malignancy because our immune system is suppressed. Now, if that isn’t a wake up call…

Guilt…

When did “NO” become a bad word? Since when does saying “NO” make someone a “Bad” person? The answer is…IT DOESN’T. The problem is: A core belief whose roots trace back to early childhood.

Guilt protected you in childhood. As a child, guilt ‘saved your life’. It protected your very first attachment relationship- the one you have with your parents. The greatest needs of a child are met by its parents. The child starts to learn guilt to protect him or herself from annoying his or her parents and from being seen as ‘needy’. The child chooses guilt to protect the relationship.

Dr. Mate suggests we welcome guilt. Choose guilt over resentment. Feel guilt. Feeling guilty becomes a positive response because it means you are looking after yourself.

Know Your Zones:

Francoise Mathieu discussed knowing your “big three”, your zones. You have to be aware of your warning signs: physical, behavioural and psychological symptoms. Be self-aware.  To read what Francoise Mathieu has to say about self-awareness click here.
The Zones:

1. Green Zone: Safe zone!

2. Yellow Zone: Proceed with caution…treat with care! While in this zone, you must take heed and protect yourself from burnout so that you do not reach your Red Zone.

3. Red Zone: Danger! Meltdown!

Stress…

Stress can manifest itself both internally and externally.

Stress is a response to any threat, or any perception of threat-most commonly, to the perception that something to the organism holds to be necessary for its well-being is going to be taken away or withheld

There are three components of Stress:

1. Stressor (can happen while sleeping)

2. The processing apparatus: temperament, life history, current situation

3. Stress response

During the discussion on stress it was mentioned that we are not actually responding to what happened, we are responding to an interpretation of what happened. This relates to our understanding of implicit memory. Implicit memory governs our lives. We think we are living in the present, but we actually relate to the present as if it were the past, that is how important the past and those implicit memories are to us.

The interpretation chooses us, we don’t choose it. In other words, you’re never stressed out about what you’re stressed about and you’re never upset about what you’re upset about.

We ARE wired to be compassionate. Rabbi Hillel once said ” If I am not for myself, who will be for me?”

What are you not saying No to at home, at work? What is the impact of saying No? What are you afraid of? Can you start with one “No” a day?

Avoid being “slimed” with other people’s emotional “baggage”. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Stop running on Adrenaline and ask for help. Find the time for yourself. Take on Mindfulness Meditation and bring exercise back into your life.

Peaceful Mind

Face the reality that nobody is perfect and therefore perfection cannot be achieved. The struggle for perfection is no more than a struggle against yourself for control over your own mind.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become”- Buddha

And remember…The Spirituelle Divas Organization is here to educate-enlighten-empower.

Caring

I am in love with life,
despite its ups and downs;
life is ever whimsical and good,
enhancing, enchanting, ennobling,
and has always priceless gifts to offer
to those extending open arms
to enfold its enriching gifts;

it is a golden tapestry of solidarity
with all there is and was and will be,
woven by the silken yarn of attitude
and displayed upon the radiant screen
of hope and expectation.

life, I trust in you;
you ever elevate and bear me up,
and ensure that I head ever onward
through a constant resurrection
in each waking day;

though also certain sorrow, you give me vast and
even vaster joy;    I shan’t grow weary of your
bounty, for I know no other means of Being
in this paradoxical horizon,
save by your gracing trek through Time….